


Deadpool is a dead man

by Frenchyqueen92



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Damnit wade, Logan is not amused, M/M, Property of Deadpool, The Author Regrets Nothing, Tony Stark wins 20$
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 16:50:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1990362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frenchyqueen92/pseuds/Frenchyqueen92
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deadpool was a dead man. Screw his healing factor, Spiderman would find a way to kill the merc-with-a-mouth if it’s the last thing he does!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deadpool is a dead man

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TsubakiGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TsubakiGirl/gifts).



> BETA READER: TsubakiGirl 
> 
> This whole thing started as a brain fart after being horribly bored at work :D
> 
> Sorry for any grammar or synthaxe issues, can't help it!

His day had started so well for a change... it was a Saturday which meant no college, no alarm clocks and lots of well-deserved sleep. It was a little after noon when Peter finally decided to grace the world of his presence and then lazing around his apartment while eating pop-tarts for lunch with a side of microwave burritos. A little while after the brunette suited up to patrol the city under clear blue skies, fluffy white clouds and a bright smiling sun with no sign of trouble whatsoever. Yep, life was good! Which should have been his first clue; when you're Spiderman days like this normally pointed to his near doom and in this case it was embodied by a red and black spandex mercenary by the name of Wade Wilson.

Spiderman's beautiful day of swinging around the city was turned upside down by a mid-air kick and a shout 'FOR TACOS' that sent him flying to a nearby rooftop before his spideysense even had the time to say 'Eek!'.

'Wade' growled Peter, landing swiftly on his feet with the grace and charm of a waddling duck.

'Aw you remembered my name baby-boy? I knew you cared~' sang-song the other man, swinging an arm around the younger man's shoulders.

'What do you want Deadpool?' snapped the young superhero, refusing to have his awesome day ruined by an annoying loud mouth who he shooed away with a few swats of his hand 'And my ass is not an option' The merc pouted as he was just about to claim the same.

_Damn, the kid is good._

(He's so into us!) _Totally._

[Oh yes, nothing better than a deranged psychopath to charm the ladies] _Ouch._

(Thank goodness he's no chicka then) _He's too cute to be a girl anyways._

'Yah, Spiderwoman just isn't as catchy'

 _'_ Erm okay, thanks?'

_(Was that a smile?)_

_[Hard to tell with the mask]_

_Definitely smiling, he sounds far too amused not to be!_

(We're so tapping that later)

[Unless he throws us off a building. Again.] _You're really no fun._

Meanwhile his spidey just stood there, arms crossed and staring. What? Was something on his face?

'Deadpool, I asked you a question' _Oh_ that.

'Chill it Web-head! I want many things, but I'll settle for your number' Purred the merc, invading once more his spidey's space by slipping an arm around the shorter man's waist and pulling the boy flush against him.

_He sure is short! (He's pocket sized!)_

Even white box had to hum in approval, but a snort and webs in his face was his answer soon followed by a snarky 'In your dreams Wilson'.

'Every night baby-boy~' leered Wade once he pulled off the webbing from his mask, eyes roaming on his favorite spandex clad hero and a foot to the face unfortunately prevented any further ogling.

(Spandex is the best) _Can't hide nothing and boy is there a lot to see._

[No skin showing though] _We could change that._

'Cool it, can't a dude just drop by New-York to spend some quality time with his favorite cutie? Plus there's the whole job thingy I took for a few dozen thousand bucks.'

Spiderman was about to protest in the name of all that was good and righteous to once again lecture the anti-hero about the no-killing for money policy when his spideysense failed him once more when a shouted 'JUST KIDDING' accompanied by a loud -SMACK- resonated in his ears, the sudden sting on his bum exhorting a not-so-manly squeak from his lips as the merc's hand made contact with his left arse cheek.

 _'DEADPOOL!'_ roared Peter, his punch missing the merc not even by an inch.

 _'_ Aw spidey you know I love it when you scream my name like that' winked the merc evading another attack from a furious Spiderman 'Gotta dash though, ciao sweet cheeks~' smirked the renowned loud mouth.

Spiderman grumbled to himself while rubbing the now sensitive spot on his butt cheek, the brunette would be far more pissed off at this kind of pointless meeting with the insane katana wielder if they weren't so frequent. At first the merc had been annoying with his non-stop chattering nearly a superpower by how quick it got on people's nerves, but as the older man started to stalk him more often he gradually minded less. Sometimes the loud mouth would drop by Spiderman’s favorite patrol watch-roof with a bag of warm Mexican food to share or just to mess with the hero's head. The flirting had been almost instant and always not-so-subtle, going from cheap pick-up lines and bad puns to groping and invading his space. Soon Peter found himself smiling at the merc’s odd and twisted humor and even caught himself chuckling at the wannabe-hero's antics.

They weren't exactly friends, but then again it was hard to tell with Wade: one day he was all peppy and snuggly and the next he was gloomy and snappy – those days weren't his favorites. There was no telling what came next where Deadpool was concerned, but the more they hung out the more prone to slip ups Spiderman became: Like one morning after a night of running around and fighting Peter got fed up of being called spidey and nearly gave away his full name to the merc, thankfully stopping at Peter. Or another time he very nearly invited the red and black mercenary back to his place for a beer after a particularly tedious mission, Peter didn't know what was the more surprising: that he seemed to naturally put his trust in Wade -a murderous, more than a little insane guy- or that he enjoyed said merc's company period.

Stupid Deadpool.

Deciding to shrug off the odd encounter of the day provided by the ever random mercenary _legendaire,_ our arachnid hero resumed his patrol which soon turned into a full blast battle against Dr. Doom's bots with an handful of other superheroes dropping by to help.

He really should of suspected something was wrong at the odd or amused looks some of his allies gave him, but considering he was being shot at and nearly sliced up a few times he didn't gave it much thought on the spot. But as soon as the battle ended remarks started firing at him from just about everyone.

'Is there something you want to tell us spidey?' taunted Torch.

'Knew it, hey Legolas you owe me 20!' Shouted Tony to Clint across the battlefield.

'Aw man!'

'That's it, the punk's going down!'

'Logan, no' reprimanded gently -but firmly- Captain America.

'Guys, what's going on?' asked almost timidly Peter not too sure he was following.

The question seemed to quiet down the group, every hero glancing uncertainly at each other and no one volunteering an answer until The Stark took his pupil in pity and stated boldly 'You've been branded kid'.

'Branded...' Echoed Spiderman blandly, confusion seeping deeper into his mind.

Seeing the younger hero wasn't getting it Tony gestured to his own arse while repeating 'Yah, branded. Like cattle'.

Cold dread washed down Spiderman’s spine, twisting around to try and catch a glance of what the others were snickering about. His face was blank for a few seconds under his mask before an irritated growl rose in his throat, ripping the stupid sticker of Wade's logo with the words 'Property of Deadpool' off his suit.

_Deadpool is a dead man. Screw his healing factor, Spiderman would find a way to kill the merc-with-a-mouth if it’s the last thing he did!_


End file.
